it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
