dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
