when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize