either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize