D3 body, D1 cock
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is the high leading the old right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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