I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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