kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
