my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
