After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
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