i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
