Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
