All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i came on her dog
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
