Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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