their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
