Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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