The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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