I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
