I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
