I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
