Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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