but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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