Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
