Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
