I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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