...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
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i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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