the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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