White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
