How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
