let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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