My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
