Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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