Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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