the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
