Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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