when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
