I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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