Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it because I queefed?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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