i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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