my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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