and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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