I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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