Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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