So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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