I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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