how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
