Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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