My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
