Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
