I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize