Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
