Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
