Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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  (207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs
  Replies (27) Good night (3515) Bad night (1012)
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  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (689) Bad night (6851)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (629) Bad night (6114)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points

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  (210): Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points http://tfl.nu/hnze
  Replies (18) Good night (6652) Bad night (783)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

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  (901): He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/264e
  Replies (20) Good night (4465) Bad night (1414)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?

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  (419): This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/farl
  Replies (21) Good night (6533) Bad night (965)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.

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  (218): I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot. http://tfl.nu/z5np
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (2975)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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  (920): I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips http://tfl.nu/g3ng
  Replies (6) Good night (3083) Bad night (1041)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
  Replies (9) Good night (3837) Bad night (1604)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dave a horae rider a coqw boy

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  (414): Dave a horae rider a coqw boy http://tfl.nu/9zpn
  Replies (11) Good night (4149) Bad night (1068)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.

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  (505): Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q0tv
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (2573)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.

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  (303): So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/vqqs
  Replies (8) Good night (1793) Bad night (685)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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  (303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i
  Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (484)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

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  (267): I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week http://tfl.nu/wcg4
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (675)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.

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  (603): I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty. http://tfl.nu/jo6d
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (752)

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