I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart