Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.