when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
