WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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