I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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