I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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